REFLECTIONS IN A WINDOW PANE

MAKE WAY FOR THE DALIT

2006-11-17T01:47:00.000-08:00

The divide between the rich and poor has grown so large that an average upper middle class Indian is blinded to the realities of rural countryside. However, the same entertainment consoles that hook the eyes of the urban consumer are spreading thick and fast to rural communities as well. The use of Information Technology, especially video and internet, is unmasking a new future. Information spreads have often rephrased history, and when controlled by specific interests, they produce the desired effect. A feudal society transforming under the pressures of globalization is a sight witnessed often, over the past 50 years all around the world. When the use of Video by a team of six Dalits, working for a Community Video Unit, set up by Navsarjan, Drishti and Video Volunteers transcended all barriers of caste, it brought upon relief for an entire village. This definitely sounds like a story that you have heard before…..

Khamblav, a village with a population of less than 3000 in the Saurashtra region of Gujarat, is 7kms off the National Highway 8. Though small in number, the village is dominated by the 40 odd Thakurs, the upper caste households. Like various other areas in District Surendranagar, it suffers from high Fluoride content in the ground water, the only source of drinking water in the village. According to the Water and Sanitation Management Organization, the content of Fluoride ranges between 10.5 ppm to 3.5 ppm in the three wells of the village. The permitted level of Fluoride in water should not exceed more than 0.5 ppm to be deemed fit for consumption. In 2000, WASMO, the organization set up under a Dutch initiative, established 24 water treatment plants in the district., one of them in Khamblav. The plant with a capacity of treating 70,000 liters of water everyday provided drinking water to the village for 3 years. According to the plan, the village panchayat was to maintain and run the plant after WASMO exits. As the case turned out in this upper-caste dominated village, the panchayat refused to run the plant citing a shortage of funds. Incidentally, the cost of treating and distributing the treated water to the entire village is less than Rs. 50 per day!

While the upper castes have made alternate water arrangements for themselves, it is the Dalits and other marginalized communities who have had to face the worst consequences.
For the past three years, the residents of Khamblav have had to drink the Fluoride contaminated underground water from the wells. As a consequence, more than one-third of the villagers complain of symptoms directly related to Skeletal Fluorosis- pains in the bones and joints; sensations of burning, pricking, and tingling in the limbs; muscle weakness; chronic fatigue; and gastrointestinal disorders and reduced appetite.

Adding to the woes of the villagers, the Health department refuses to acknowledge the problem not only in Khamblav but the entire Limbadi Taluka. When Aapna Malak Maa contacted the Block Heath Officer, D. S. Mangutia, he categorically stated, “In the 101 villages of Limbadi Taluka, there is no report of Fluorosis from even a single village and thus it is not a Public Health issue.” The WASMO officials on the other hand, constantly complain of the village panchayat being run by upper castes and not looking after the interests of other communities.

In its video magazine on the issue of Health, Aapna Malak Maa covered the problem of Fluorosis in Khamblav. It showed the condition of the suffering villagers and the administration’s lack of accountability. It also urged the villagers of Khamblav for greater participation in the management of its own health. An increased awareness in the taluka about the issue left the village panchayat with no other alternative and they agreed to co-operate in resolving the issue. On 10th November, the film was screened at Khamblav, in the presence of 600 people including WASMO officials, the Panchayat, other government officers, Navsarjan Activists and the villagers. A public meeting was conducted after the screening where it was decided that the water treatment plant will be started again by WASMO. The village will contribute 10 percent of the cost of repairs and maintenance of the plant, an amount less that Rs. 4 per person. This will ensure a one-hour water supply in each house everyday. WASMO will operate the plant for one year, after which the village will have to run the system through a representative Water Committee of 5-6 people.

This is the closest that the residents of Khamblav have been to clean drinking water in the past three years and they lay the credit to the team of Aapna Malak Maa for giving them a voice. Even the upper castes are happy that the problem has been resolved. Parakram Singh, the Deputy Sarpanch says, “We are thankful to the team of Aapna Malak Maa for raising this issue and get the entire system moving.”

Khamblav is a territory where non-Dalits do not drink water through the hands of a Dalit but this situation has created an ironical paradox. The six young Dalits have taken up leadership in their community to resolve this issue and the entire village of Khamblav will be drinking water out of their hands.

In this perfectly feudal setup, the Marxian argument that material conditions determine all other conditions of human life stood true for once. But when the buildings of class are built by the arms of caste, how often those gates will be breached, remains to be seen.

For all the enviornmentalists out there!!!!!!!!!!

2006-10-03T23:20:00.000-07:00

This picture was taken at Asia's second largest pumping station, built for the waters of Narmada at Lakhtar, 35 kms off the Rann of Kutch....Well, Oxygen to breathe is all we are complaing about as well...Glad they admit it! hahahaha

MOOLI MAA

2006-10-03T23:14:00.000-07:00

Mooli Maa, 80, widowed, no surving kids, resident of Village Gedi, a "Shudra", earns Rs.15 a day, still.......she doesnot fall under the list of People Below Poverty Line......shame, to say the least!!!

Wasted Nights....

2006-10-03T21:58:00.000-07:00

Well, thats a de-saturated me!!!!!!!!!!

The shelf of books through an Azarro bottle.....
I thought it looked amazin....please comment!
Though the concept of refraction and reflection is probably the most fascinating to explore....nah, i aint on mushrooms....atleast not yet!!!

AHMEDABAD by the Night

2006-10-03T21:55:00.000-07:00

ELECTRIC EMBERS!!!!!

Fallen, by the way side...

More about Kids.....No Captions tho...

2006-10-03T21:49:00.000-07:00

The GramSabha At Pansena!

2006-10-03T21:31:00.000-07:00

For all the talk of women empowerment, the gramsabhas still remain to be an elusive domain for the 'man', unless ofcourse there is some kind of reservation. Even in that case, its the man calling the shots behind the scenes, a.k.a Laloo/Rabri scenario. At this particular gramsabha ( one of the best, bout 300 men were present), one realized what a well established panchayati raj system can achieve. However, the concept of gramsabha and a social council still remains challenged in the hands of caste and gender 'power struggles'. They are seldom called, illiteracy, no compensation for the daily wages and a lack of interest deters the common man from becoming a part of this participatory process. Well, if the trend continues..God Save the Queen....ooops!!!

Two Faces

2006-09-13T01:42:00.000-07:00

Ahhh....i wonder if i am obsessed, but posession 2 the hands of an unknown can be fatal...perhaps the reason why i feel so enriched....Neways, I finally get to do some work on the pic!!!

somethin......

2006-09-12T13:28:00.000-07:00

CAN OUR PENS WRITE?

We have large numbers! We have the skilled hands!
We have creative minds! We have vibrant hearts!
We have a broad vision! We have the big big fists!
With our old living chisels and also the hammers!!
As also now the pen and can also read and write!

Can now our pens write? Can we help it record??
What the chisels spoke all these long millenniums -
Softly silently but always continuously and endlessly?
Much more vibrantly boldly openly really vividly!
Clearly unambiguously! Can we all now use them?

Can we collectively write out Meaningful messages?
For our own people to read think debate improve!
That requires openly agitating our minds and hearts!
And use them more and more, much more clearly,
Effectively forcefully meaningfully and also honestly!

Can we now also start thinking to writing the agenda
Our actions and plans for our future and our children
What we are going to do with the Govts and Nation!
How we are going to deal with others who had been
Exploiting marginalising and sidelining us everywhere!

- a dalit

While Pom was here!

2006-08-31T02:04:00.000-07:00

u This one's my favourite...the true reflection of what digital technology is capable of....Two faces of the Subject!

Tis 11 in the night and I m tryin to figure where in the hell are we headed....

This one's called 'inthe middle of things!'... And thy wonders what its supposed to mean.....

Finally, the Sabarmati....

2006-08-31T01:42:00.000-07:00

Sabarmati....a view from Ahmedabad!

There are a few weird traditions we people follow. One of them is calling rivers names while all that remains is their banks! But, phew, its a relief to see the River back again... Now there are conflicting opinons about the floods. While a part of the state( particularly Surat) believe that they are devastated, I wonder how many NGO's have reached that place.....There is another part, down in the Kutch and the Saurashtra, whose water woes for the year have been taken care of! Now, its for Narendra Bhai Mo-demon to take a call on 'weather' to call the 'whether' a Boon or a Bane. There is, however, something wrong with the doors around this place. They expand like crazy! After the rains, there is nothing that you can shut. All the doors are too big!
I mean seriously, there are areas which see some real rains and this doesnt happen with those doors.

The lifes and times.....Cannines....

2006-08-21T22:18:00.000-07:00

More on the lifes and times of dogs down at the relief road.......

2006-08-21T21:50:00.000-07:00

Myself....On the back of a steel carrier....tryin to put together bits of life at speeds of 80kmph.....

2006-08-20T02:29:00.000-07:00

'

Meet Himanshu....the coolest model eva! Back at the school in Kataria......This is an early mornin impromptu photo shoot!!!!!!!!

2006-08-20T01:55:00.000-07:00

The coolest dog in Ahmedabad....down at Relief Road, trippin with Pom...13th August 2006..

The kids at "Ghosal"...a village 150kms from Ahmedabad....The anger of Social Exclusion of their community reflects in their eyes....they still make the Dalit kids sit separately for the Mid Day Meal at the Primary School.....this pic was on the shoot for the UNICEF Film about social exclusion of children in education....sometime in July 2006....

When i see.....i see hope... .... on the way to Baroda...13 Aug'2006

MY LAST WORDS!!!!!!!!!! famous????

2006-05-27T02:05:00.000-07:00

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"Goodbye. I am leaving because I am bored."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

A Bagful of Lies

2006-03-20T05:51:00.000-08:00

The other day I had a dream...it saw the whole college come crubling down infront of my eyes.
And then there are days when all of it would seem to be a Bagful of Lies...an illusion...
While on pursuit of truth, everyday I lie. I lie to myself and the rest of the world. Ha ha....
And then the thought wanders of....what is the "truth"? Is it also an illusion??????

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our souls
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll
And she's buying a stairway to heaven
.....page-plant.....led zepplin

Translations

2006-01-30T02:43:00.000-08:00

On way to greater things....or atleast the illusion is letting me believe that.....jus another month to go n this course will be over....not that everythin is goin 2 plan, i hoped 2 noe where i m headed next by now....but guess fate itself likes to keep me hangin! ha ha.....and the world thinks that i don give it a damn.....Either ways, i jus love it the way it goes.....And despite the longing to be certain about a few things, uncertainity about most aint that bad all the time...or so i believe....IGNORANCE IS BLISS......

"Where ignorance is bliss, 'Tis folly to be wise."
Thomas Gray

Feels like spring again!

2006-01-23T02:05:00.000-08:00

I had thought I will never be able to breathe in fresh air. I had thought I will never be able to smell the grass the way I used to. I thought I ll never be able to live.......but knowing you, there are days when I breathe. There are days I smell the grass. Being with you is living.....I loathed myself before you came along.....and now I am too scared to lose you......because I love you.....As always I dont want to promise you anything.....but jus that you are my reality.....my comfort and my happiness.....its amazin being with you every single minute that I get to do that......its lonely when you are'nt around.....I have my past...and so do u......but you are my present.....whether you believe it or not! I live for my present.....and to make my future beautiful.....I am just asking for you to hold my hand.....and I shall give everything I have to you.....coz the only thing I want is you.......

You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Anyplace is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me myself I got nothing to prove
You got a fast car
And I got a plan to get us out of here
I been working at the convenience store
Managed to save just a little bit of money
We won't have to drive too far
Just 'cross the border and into the city
You and I can both get jobs
And finally see what it means to be living
You see my old man's got a problem
He live with the bottle that's the way it is
He says his body's too old for working
I say his body's too young to look like his
My mama went off and left him
She wanted more from life than he could give
I said somebody's got to take care of him
So I quit school and that's what I did
You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
We leave tonight or live and die this way
I remember we were driving driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk C
ity lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone......

Tracy Chapman

Coming back to life???

2005-12-31T03:33:00.000-08:00

Guess this will be the last post of the year! Dint expect myself to last for a year....well sittin at a place typin is such a pain in the arse ( Excuse my French.... ) Yeah.....there I go again looking for excuses for not bein regular with my posts!!! The new year resolution- POST REGULARLY!!! hahahahahaha....now lets see how lon that lasts....but nevertheless......quite an eventful year.....

Ramblings at different things...as usual!....well the call center obsession finally out of the way I started on pursuing my childhood ambition....and must confess that I surprised myself when I look how far I have come...and the fact that I aint too bad at bein a Broadcast Journo as well.... But there remains a lot to be proved and a lot to be achived....so no nasty self-elating statements yet! Guess they can wait 4 a wile........

But cant forget to thank Mom rite now....4 believin in me and standin by me while i was stuck in the worse of circumstances !!! Jus keep that faith Ma....love u.......wont let u down eva....

And to all my well wishers n frienz n the competetion.....thanks 4 pushin me to do well......and i promise that you that i aint goin to stop pushin this year as well.....c u at the GAME!!!

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-
One momentWould you capture it or just let it slip?
Yo, His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's chokin, how everybody's chokin now
The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah!
Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked
He's so mad, but he won't give up that easy
No, he won't have it , he knows his whole back city's ropes
It don't matter, he's dopeHe knows that, but he's broke
He's so stacked that he knows
When he goes back to his mobile home,
that's when it'sBack to the lab again yo
This whole rap city
He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him.....

EMINEM.....LOSE YOURSELF........8 MILE SONDTRACK......

SKMSLMLSMLMSKLMLK

2005-11-30T23:17:00.000-08:00

havent been able 2 blog for a while now....not that my intensity towards writing as gone down or somethin....but jus that i still think that i need to know a lot before puttin across my opinion....will be busy for a wile doin that and then come back big time!!!!

Happy Anniversary Siddharth

2005-10-06T06:51:00.000-07:00

I normally come back to this space when I break a promise....and then I promise myself that I ll update this space regularly....Well...another promise broken!...and another might be made..... but alas! Guess I dont care any longer.....I realized this a long time back but to convince myself about it is an ardrous task altogether....
I was thinking about the people who matter...and that to ironically today....the most important day in the life of one Mr. Siddharth Chadha.....one I left behind.....alone? Guess not.....all I know is that I dont matter any longer......and is that what matters to me? I wish it did not......but there are days, like today....when all I care about is not being where I was....but I long to see things the way I used to.....smell the air as if it were a part of me.....feel the way I thought I was meant to.....forever....and it did last forever! Just that the foever ended before I did......

Lost Love

His eyes are quickened so with grief,
He can watch a grass or leaf
Every instant grow; he can
Clearly through a flint wall see,
Or watch the startled spirit flee
From the throat of a dead man.
Across two counties he can hear
And catch your words before you speak.
The woodlouse or the maggot's weak
Clamour rings in his sad ear,
And noise so slight it would surpass
Credence--drinking sound of grass,
Worm talk, clashing jaws of moth
Chumbling holes in cloth;
The groan of ants who undertake
Gigantic loads for honour's sake
(Their sinews creak, their breath comes thin);
Whir of spiders when they spin,
And minute whispering, mumbling, sighs
Of idle grubs and flies.
This man is quickened so with grief,
He wanders god-like or like thief
Inside and out, below, above,
Without relief seeking lost love.

by Robert Graves......

Yet again....

2005-09-23T22:36:00.000-07:00

I read a famous smokers quotation once that said, " Who says quitting is'nt easy. I quit everyday!"
And I so relate myself to the same when it comes to updatng my blog.(pst: that doesnt mean it's restricted to blogging alone! )After all the complaints I have got from the regular readers of my space....as if its a substantial figure anyway......I have made a promise to update my blog everyday.......and the persistance may sustain...amen.

Listening to Beethoven's Ninth Symphony
Alex: Oh bliss! Bliss and heaven! Oh, it was gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh. It was like a bird of rarest-spun heaven metal or like silvery wine flowing in a spaceship, gravity all nonsense now. As I slooshied, I knew such lovely pictures!
A CLOCKWORK ORANGE

Understanding Chaos

2005-08-09T04:14:00.000-07:00

Its interesting to note how Chaos hits you at a point of time in your life and stays with you forever. A lot of people, however, beg to differ from this opinion. Some say that it is always present.....might be but the realization still hits you at a single moment of time.....anyways I am more pre-occupied with the chaos and co-existence of chaos and harmony....understanding chaos is something I dont really bother myself with.....atleast not yet.
But before I begin this discourse, I wish to bring in a clarity of thought about a few facts. Firstly, this is a work with absolute objectivity. An objectivity towards myself and myself alone. I donnot wish to get into the discussion that wanders aimlessly, looking to prove my existence because if there is no me, the purpose of that debate is irrelevant...............................to be continued............

Numb

2005-08-01T03:39:00.000-07:00

Starting Post Grad School, especially in Journalism can make things difficult. And if the city is Chennai, your misery is increased exponentially. At this point of time, I must inform my audiences that this is my third week in the city and all I have achived successfuly is a through and rigorous critique of the city. So, this is an effort to vomit out ( wow! that rings a bell after the weekend party) all the frustrations once and for all. I am in desparate need for breaking ice between myself and Chennai.
For starters, this city has a completely non existent night life.....parties are hi teas....n i have'nt met a soul that trips on anything close to psy! The food sucks, most of it is sour and no KFC! let me not mention that I have almost forgotten the taste of good butter chicken and butter nans...........man do I miss Shikara 'n good ol' Sanjha Chulla rools....and I m droolin!....hey....suddenly I dont feel like complaining any longer.......................jus hope can say it the next time I am back.......and all that remains is a silence with these words by Pink Floyd whispering in my ears......

Hello.

Is there anybody in there?

Just nod if you can hear me.Is there anyone home?

Come on, now.I hear you’re feeling down.

Well I can ease your pain,Get you on your feet again.

Relax.I need some information first.

Just the basic facts:Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain, you are receding.

A distant ship’s smoke on the horizon.

You are only coming through in waves.

Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re sayin’.

When I was a child I had a fever.

My hands felt just like two balloons.

Now I got that feeling once again.I can’t explain, you would not understand.

This is not how I am.

I have become comfortably numb.

Ok.Just a little pinprick.There’ll be no more --aaaaaahhhhh!

But you may feel a little sick.

Can you stand up? I do believe it’s working. good.

That’ll keep you going for the show.

Come on it’s time to go.

There is no pain, you are receding.

A distant ship’s smoke on the horizon.

You are only coming through in waves.

Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re sayin’.

When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,

Out of the corner of my eye.

I turned to look but it was gone.

I cannot put my finger on it now.

The child is grown, the dream is gone.

I have become comfortably numb.

Getting away!

2005-07-12T06:19:00.000-07:00

My last day in Ropar and then I am off to Chennai...looking at a new world ahead my mind keeps going back to Morrisn's lyrics......

People Are Strange

People are strange, when you're a stranger

Faces look ugly when you're alone

People seem wicked, when you're unwanted

Streets are uneven, when you're down

When you're strange- faces come out of the rain

When you're strange- no one remembers your name

When you're strange, when you're strange, when you're str-ange

Densmore-Krieger-Manzarek-Morrison

annoncing the Judgement Day

2005-07-07T22:50:00.000-07:00

This feeling of guilt is scrooning all over me for the past one week. Apparently, I am looking to become a to-reckon-with Journo and all my space ever talks about is anecdotes or poetry. I feel like I am stepping in the shoes of Jug Suraiya (altho, I admire the man for his achivements and sense of humor, I still dont want to go down that lane, this early in my career!).
How much so ever I force myself to talk about the crimes of London yesterday, it is still difficult for me to look at the picture holistically right now. Infact, my perceptions and infuriation has taken control of my unbiased self......And although the conclusion is forgone, that trouble makers will be upheld guilty infront of my conscience, I still would not pass the verdict, till I give both sides a fair hearing.............

" And Levin, a happy father and a man in perfect health, was several times so near suicide that he hid the cord, lest he be tempted to hang himself, and was afraid to go out with his gun, for fear of shooting himself. But Levin did not shoot himself, and did not hang himself; he went on living. "...........................LEO TOLSTOY................

Of Sardars and the 12'o'clock syndrome

2005-07-06T23:39:00.000-07:00

I would like to clarify to the world that Sikhism is a religon I truly respect and throughly understand. The instance I'd like to share are not meant to offend anyone and are directed towards the people involved, and not towards the religon or any caste or community in particular. I could easily have been anyone in this situation ( I still wonder who tho?!?)

This is the time when Mom went looking for a comfy sofa for her beautifully built Health and Beauty Clinic. The furniture market in Chandigarh was the obvious choice for sofa hunting and a Sardarji was the first soul they'd bump into, lil wondering whats in store for them......

" Can you show us a sofa suitable to be kept at a reception?," asked Mom.
"Reception??? Well, people will come, wine and dine, dance a lil, enjoy and go. Why in the hell do you want to keep a sofa there????," comes the reply from the turbaned Sikh.

This other time I was travelling to Delhi from Chandigarh by a Haryana Roadways bus ( I ll tell you about them sometime later) when I hear an loud animated conversation between these two harmless gentlemen sitting right behind me and I'd presume you would have guessed by now, they were Sardarji's.

1st: Do you remember this guy from our village, Hansu? He's moved to Canada and is earning loads and loads of money!
2nd: Really??? But where does he keep all of it???

Huh! Goes my expression and as I casually glance upon my watch, its 1200 hrs......and there I go, again wondering about Sardars and the 12'o'clock syndrome......(lol)

Perils of a new life

2005-07-06T02:34:00.000-07:00

I was all worked up and excited about moving to Chennai till this happened, but before you read further:
the following sentences are disturbing in nature, readers discretion is advised especially for mothers and women who have a cleanliness disorder!

"Your accommodation (an apartment on a sharing basis of 5 /6 per house if it is a double bedroom house and 8/9 per house if it is a triple bedroom house) has been arranged...."

These are the excerpts of a mail sent to me by the unusually intimidating registrar at ACJ. But thats not the disturbing part, the registrar i.e. The horrifying part is to see 9 wannabe journos sharing the same appartment. I mean can you even imagine the filth they'd be capable of creating! Ok, I ve gotta admit that I am just not comfy with sharing a room with anyone. I have tried it in the past but those ended in miserable disasters. I stayed with Saumya once for a few months last year and it was killing ( not that Aunty being around was of much help either!). I dont know how the appartment is going to be, but I can only take solace in the words of an ex-student, words I had comfortably choose to ignore, while continuing my pestering questions about the place. I quote, "You will never go to the appartment." How I hope today thats true........
I guess I am being introduced to the perils of my new life and the ghosts I had long exorcised will return to haunt me, although this time I have no intentions of being busted. Nevertheless, a rather ordinary day with not much excitement apart from the news channels which are on fire today. A bomb forgotten yesterday exploding in Ayodhya(what the hell were the police doing, anyone with no experience in all this can tell you that the first thing to be done at ground zero is Quarrantine! Guess the police aint watching too many action flicks, eh) . A terrorist attack in Srinagar(....no offences but YAAAAAAAwwwNNN.....). 10 escape Tihar Jail( After Charles Sobraj and the guy who killed Phoolan Devi, I guess the Delhi Police still hasnt learnt a lesson). London gets Olympics 2012 ( Well, thats for once I aint complaining eventhough Paris's my favourite city.......).
Its time for me to go back to the kitchen and cook up some incidents myself...ciao....

War of the worlds

2005-07-02T21:34:00.000-07:00

Its a conflict between .....
the extrovert and the pervert.....
the orthodox and the paradox....
the conscious and the presumptious....
the inventor and the creator.....
the chained and the pained.....
the frivolous and the incredlous....
the ability and the disablity......
the time and the rhyme......
the bending and the impending.....
the physical and the philosophical......
the dumb and the numb......
Its a conflict of my worlds.....
between myself and thyself......
the mind is the battleground,
and the soul is that bleeds.....
Its a war between......
the consicous and the odious....
and lest the my dies....
the thy shall never rest.....

The conflict between myself and thyself arises more often than I would desire. And on days like today, puts forth questions I have no answers to.....and in the end, when I give up in despair, I find solace in the words of Robert Graves.....

He is quick, thinking in clear images; I am slow, thinking in broken images.
He becomes dull, trusting to his clear images; I become sharp, mistrusting my broken images.
Trusting his images, he assumes their relevance; Mistrusting my images, I question their relevance.
Assuming their relevance, he assumes the fact; Questioning their relevance, I question their fact.
When the fact fails him, he questions his senses; when the fact fails me, I approve my senses.
He continues quick and dull in his clear images; I continue slow and sharp in my broken images.
He in a new confusion of his understanding; I in a new understanding of my confusion.

Good Morning World...

2005-07-01T21:07:00.000-07:00

I hate Saturdays....not coz I have something against them but its jus the day wen a lotta things dont work out!.....I mean to start with, early morning you get a newspaper which looks like a weekend paper that gets you all worked up and excited but in the ends up as a sneak preview to the Sunday paper ( I swear its such a piss off!).....and then more often than not you have to go to work( can u believe it! work on weekends!) where you anticipate having a blast in the evening, tis Saturday nite after all........by the time the evening dawns your woes are manifold and a disappointment sets in, no plan works out most days and I end up sittin at home havin a lonesome drink, watchin the idiot box and dozzzzzzin off in the end.......

But today's a special Saturday morning, coz all you people who posted the comments on my blog have made it special for me......Its an amazing feeling that hits you as soon as you know that someone cares......I ll never forget this day and neither the people who stood by me all these years....

Thanks Raush....you are an inspiration.....I am serious. I guess I havent told you this but for as long as we have known each other, I have appreciated you for being the person you are. I mean I saw everyone ( and that includes myself....) cribbing about something or the other like learning the guitar or about hitting the gym or wateva....but you always had a drive to chase wateva you wanted.....be that your regular piano lessons or hittin the gym( am i not supp 2 mention that??..).......Its was just so amazing....be the same always.....

Thanks Shanti Aunty, Lotika di and Charu Di and all other lovely people in Kathmandu..... I love you all soooooo much and altho there's been a distance between us in physical terms, you people have always been and would be close to my heart......thanks a tonne.....and hey, Charu Di you aint the lonely journalist in family any longer......we've got a team now to stand up and fight the Business women!.......lol!.........love you all........

Thanks all the Anonymous people who cared...please post u'r name there coz i'd really want to thank you personally..........but neways i'd still love you.......and be there with you all through thick and thin....................

I am coming ACJ!

2005-07-01T05:14:00.000-07:00

Its weird where life takes you......it was a dream I fostered all through my life.......and along the years, I thought it would remain a dream forever......and then with a sudden twist of fate, all changed.....I ve got an admission to ACJ for Broadcast Journalism, something I have always wanted to do......so I am off to Chennai for a year.......Its like a dream to be able to chase my dream and god knows I am going to chase it hard........I am prepared for the world.Its the world that needs to worry now, coz when I hit it, it wont be prepared for my blow............

"The lessons of life are not at the end of the journey, but along the course itself...."

The starting jitters

2005-06-28T04:43:00.000-07:00

For all the talk about blogs, I guessed it was time that I got one for thyself.......so, after days of trapising around cumbersome commands and by the virtues, they call patience and persistence.....I make my first post!...........and hope to keep the spirit alive for the days to come.........